Sunday, February 7, 2010
Every time you open your mouth, whether you are speaking to one or a thousand and one, you become a public speaker.
In survey after survey public speaking is the number one fear – above fear of flying, fear of snakes, fear of falling and all the other phobias. As a professional motivational speaker and trainer, I rarely experience the fear of public speaking, but I do have the fear that I will say the wrong thing.
As a rebellious teenager, I was told by my mother, “If you could ever use that big mouth for something positive, maybe God could use you for something good.”
Many years later her prophetic words have come true and she has lived to see it. She and most others who “knew me when” never thought I would be a 30-year educator, public speaker, trainer, consultant and coach in education, business and church.
When my mother made me take piano lessons as a child, I have to confess that I didn’t enjoy it. I tried numerous times to quit, but she just wouldn’t let me. By the time I was in my 10th year of playing, I began choosing my own music and I had learned to love it. I also played the bassoon and the guitar, and helped finance my college career with music.
In case you haven’t picked up the parallel, you don’t have a choice about speaking. And the more you practice, the better you will be. You may actually develop your own style, your own niche and even eventually use it for your own personal good or gain. We all have to speak, and we all are judged, like it or not, by our content, grammar, purpose, effectiveness, gestures, and all the accompanying criteria.
Most people eventually have to give some sort of presentation in their workplace, school, community, church or social clubs. Most try their best to avoid it. But I have found that many times they change their mind, whether it is informally or professionally. Even my radio or television guests said that they actually enjoyed the experience they had dreaded, and wouldn’t mind doing it again.
When I coach professionals in the business world, I teach them to relax, use proper gestures and eye contact and drill them in both their strengths and weaknesses. They find they invariably look forward to their business presentations, training or sales.
How can this be, you may ask, when perhaps for years they have dreaded such events and may have even become physically ill over the prospect of having to speak in public? I believe 90 percent of their proverbial fear was not grounded in past experience, inability, or lack of certain “gifts.” Instead, I have come to recognize the fear of public speaking has to do with three essential criteria: lack of confidence, lack of training and lack of experience (practice). Give me four sessions with the most fearful, insecure, shy upcoming speaker, and I can have them delivering as if they were a pro.
Change your mind, change your habits, and change your life. As one who has lost 100 pounds, quit smoking, stayed with one man 35 years, and went from high school dropout to PhD, I never give up on anyone who is trying to accomplish anything.
Since almost every battle begins in the mind, I begin there when helping others. I am an encourager and motivator because I have seen thousands of lives turned around, including mine. Next, I get them to change their actions, whether their feelings coincide or not.
Lastly I encourage anyone with the fear of public speaking to get involved with an organization such as Toastmasters. (www toastmasters.org.) There are so many wonderful chapters in the St. Louis area, as well as worldwide, that help both the novice and the aspiring professional speaker.
As a member of The National Speakers Association, I have 11 booking agents nationwide and have been able to travel to all fifty states and 60 foreign countries. My parents, well into their 80s, often travel with me. When I am signing books after an event, my mother proudly tells audience members, “I told her if she could ever use that big mouth for something good, maybe God could use her to help others. I think He has.”
Dr. Debra Peppers, a professional speaker for 25 years, is one of only five inducted into the National Teachers Hall of Fame upon her retirement from Lindbergh High School. A member of the National Speakers Association, she has traveled to all 50 states and 60 countries teaching others that if she can go from being a 250-pound high school dropout, to Teacher of the Year there is hope for every child and adult. Her web site is www.pepperseed.org.
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